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I actually thought about this subject while I was running in a gym last week. In fact, it was something I read 20 years ago in a book called 'Being Happy' by Andrew Matthews. Well, that's one bad thing about running alone, you will think a lot of stuffs compare to yoga , games and meditation. Coming back to my topic, do you realised when you are fearful of something, the more you exaggerated that fear and when that happens, the more fear you built up in your mind? For example, you have a fear of flying. When someone try to talk you out of that fear, another related fear will comes to your mind. Our mind is very efficient and when you believe in something, that something really makes it 'real' to you. For example, you friend tried to assures you that planes are the safest vehicle in the world with all the thorough checks. Then, you may start to think what happened if the technicians lapsed in their duties and forgot to check this and that ? The list of fears will go on and on. I called this 'fortune telling' , where the fearful one will anticipated all sorts of fearful events that may unlikely to happen.
I guess the remedy to this is try to challenge this negative thought. For example , just keep telling yourself the plane is very safe and the organisation is very effective and organised since it is such a big corporation where lapses are almost zero, with so many experts maintaining a plane. Keep repeating this alternative thoughts or better still, write it down. (Btw, I am not flying to anywhere for vacation yet if you thought of asking me... Lol) This applies to all fearful situations like public speaking, driving and so on. Just tell yourself to speak slowly and everybody makes mistakes, so it's ok to make.
I have been watching an idol singing shows lately in 'The voice of China'. I thought some singers sang very well until the mentor pointed out their flaws. Thus, for the majority of us, we do not realised or spotted any flaws the singer had made, but only the professionals. So, most of the time, even if we are giving a speech, only the folks who know the subject very well will spot your mistakes and thats a small percentage. :) It's ok to make mistakes , after we are just humans.
Meanwhile, I did some shopping at IKEA SG at their Tampines branch and finally got to eat the salmon set again. I love this set, it's very healthy, delicious and filling.
It's a long post and I wished you a good week. :)
I guess the remedy to this is try to challenge this negative thought. For example , just keep telling yourself the plane is very safe and the organisation is very effective and organised since it is such a big corporation where lapses are almost zero, with so many experts maintaining a plane. Keep repeating this alternative thoughts or better still, write it down. (Btw, I am not flying to anywhere for vacation yet if you thought of asking me... Lol) This applies to all fearful situations like public speaking, driving and so on. Just tell yourself to speak slowly and everybody makes mistakes, so it's ok to make.
I have been watching an idol singing shows lately in 'The voice of China'. I thought some singers sang very well until the mentor pointed out their flaws. Thus, for the majority of us, we do not realised or spotted any flaws the singer had made, but only the professionals. So, most of the time, even if we are giving a speech, only the folks who know the subject very well will spot your mistakes and thats a small percentage. :) It's ok to make mistakes , after we are just humans.
Meanwhile, I did some shopping at IKEA SG at their Tampines branch and finally got to eat the salmon set again. I love this set, it's very healthy, delicious and filling.
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I love IKEA's currypuffs.
ReplyDeleteFear attracts fear. Law of attraction. Suppose to be positive, don't dwell on the negatives. Don't think so much lah. Next time you are on the threadmill, sing to yourself :P
Merryn- hahaha...this thought came to me when I was on the eve of preparing my company's DnD ...usually i see pretty girls in the gym only. :P
DeleteFear attracts fear, let me try to relate to my panic attacks.. It sort of happened again on Saturday, kept telling myself to wake up and think straight, but still not improving.. Yep the way was to challenge myself and keep talking to myself, like 'discussing' with myself and face it.. Helps a lil'...
ReplyDeletePrincess - What I am trying to say is counter your negative thoughts with positive ones and stubbornly cling to it. It helps!
DeleteI have that book - Andrew Matthews' Being Happy and a few others of his as well.
ReplyDeleteWe're only human. I guess as one gets older, one does not care as much - making mistakes, looking the fool in front of a crowd and all that. Frankly, I don't give a damn...not anymore.
There is this quotation on a poster during the hippie (flower power) era of the early 70's:
I am I and you are you
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
And when I die, bury me upside down
so the whole world can kiss my ass.
(That was a bitter time, young people smoking pot and protesting against the Vietnam War, the Woodstock era!)
STP - great one! Yes, at the end of the day, who cares... Hence don't bother too much on everything.
DeleteMaybe on the treadmill, can say a prayer and talk to Jesus...
ReplyDeleteThe foods at Ikea not bad...
Sharon - haha... no worries, Im not a negative thinker. I usually think of what to do next after my run or where to go or eat.
DeleteI do think a lot while exercising especially on treadmill but mostly positive stuff. So I would not think of times and tiredness while exercising.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to The Voice Season 7 which starting soon. I watched The Voice China before and actually it was more entertaining than the original The Voice US.
Rose - yeah, me too. Usually stuffs on what to makan ...hahaha..
DeleteI felt the singers in the voice of China are all quality stuffs!
Nowadays I am more inclined to embrace the fear. When I feel afraid of heights, I will go on top of tall buildings and stay there until I fear it no more. Doesn't work on everything though, I'm still afraid of dogs..
ReplyDeleteRealGunners - That's a good solution. To overcome fear, face it. It's called de-sensitised. However, do it in small phases. LIke if you are scared of dogs, visit a pet shop , then the next day , touch a small dog ..and so on.
DeleteWe cannot live in fear.
ReplyDeleteThings will happen regardless.
There are so many accidents happening but it doesn't stop us from travelling in vehicles, does it?
Lina - true , don't live in fear but have faith. And faith banished fear.
Deletequite a long post today but frankly, i enjoyed reading it woh.. this post is thought provoking and makes me think, surely i enjoyed reading this type of topic more than those posts that purely describe what one does on a daily routine..
ReplyDeleteSk - haha...actually I like writing topics on self improvement and psychology. Another one coming up soon but a bit religious.
Deleteyes, totally agree with you.. i think if you keep thinking about your fears, even without to exaggerate them, they already get bigger in size (if you view it as something not so abstract).. because it's like the Law of Attractions, one fear attracts another.. so better to think how you will overcome them instead of avoiding them.. i've also read someone said, to overcome a fear is to find another greater fear, hmmm, what do you think about this?? :p
ReplyDeleteSk - I don't think finding a greater fear works. Try faith. Faith always triumph over fear.
Deleteand on the singing part, i also agree with you that only the professionals know better.. for example, the audience will usually be impressed by all the high-pitch and hysteric shouting style from the singer, and thought they are good.. but to the professionals, it's more than that - you are not just singing the song, but you need to perform the song, perform it as if you are blended into the song itself, the emotions the tone the pitch the expressions on your face the little movement that comes with it etc..
ReplyDeleteSk - yes lor .... I thought some contestants sang very well but the mentors pointed out their errors ....
DeleteI wondering if IKEA MY serve the same healthy dish. Love the salmon.
ReplyDeleteYee ling - it's been a while since I had salmon in ikea. I think sure have la.....they are the same everywhere.
DeleteI believe in fate, so just leave the rest to GOD :D
ReplyDeleteKen - to me, believe in God more. :)
DeleteI know nothing much about fear, but I know the only thing I've to do is face it or leave it, if I won't even dare to face it one day, end up I'm gonna be like that without changing anything so usually choose to face it instead!! =]
ReplyDeleteXiao Ying - thats not a bad idea.
DeleteIt's important to think positive all the time, it helps.
ReplyDeleteHayley - yes, always stay positive.
Deletedon't be afraid have faith
ReplyDeleteCquek - yes, faith will triumph over fear.
DeleteGood morning Chris. wah what a long post.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm..true fear attracts fears but sometimes it cant be help.....need to manage the fear but at times need help to manage that
False Evidence Appearing Real..haha. Agree the professionals look at an angle we could not comprehend. End of the day think the safest is to choose a popular song that all of them like, but then again which song will please all of them?
ReplyDeleteLike this you call a long post? Haha!
ReplyDeleteYeah fear attracts fear, just like love attracts love. It's the law of attraction at work.
ReplyDeleteWah! The salmon set looks really yummy! :)
ReplyDeleteI truly understand your topic about fear attracts fear. It is so logic and everything revolves around the frequency in this universe. Even the condition of the pregnant mothers would directly influence the baby inside the womb. If the mother was a person who lacked love, got bullied, sickly or moron, the child has all her DNA etc...!!!
ReplyDelete